Rapid Learning Through Vacuum
The Familiar "Go! Feedback! Shift! Go" Form of Rapid Learning
What you need to know about 'Gremlin' right now is that we all have ‘parts’ – isolated triggerable components to our personality that we are seduced to be identified with – and one of these parts is a feisty impulse to defend our survival-oriented worldview with tooth and nail.
This part will do anything to make our belief system ‘right’ so that we continue to survive, even if we are being ‘right’ about being ‘wrong’, ‘worthless’, ‘betrayed’, or ‘left out’. In Possibility Management we have come to call this active part of our psychological defense strategy the Gremlin.
If your Gremlin is hungry for a little ‘snack’ of intrigue or conflict, but you are a professional – so you can’t be so obvious about delivering an insult or a juicy 'victim' story – your Gremlin might cleverly wrap its thermo-nuclear device in the guise of ‘feedback’, and then deliver it with such an irritating tone of voice at the most inappropriate time that your Gremlin’s righteous glorified superiority shines like a neon Bar sign.
On the other hand, if it is your Gremlin part who receives a Beep!, regardless of how humbly the feedback has been packaged, your Gremlin can easily spin a story around the feedback with so much emotional content that you feel like you are being attacked in your weakest place in public by the other person’s Gremlin.
Whether you deliver or receive feedback with attack pressure, Mutually Assured Destruction mechanisms can activate.
This is how a ‘simple’ or ‘useful’ “Beep!” from one person might feel like Armageddon Attack to someone else, and vice versa. Any practical value of the suggestions and hints from the feedback and coaching are lost in the subtle but devastating Gremlin feeding frenzy.
The treasure of group intelligence (e.g. the wisdom of other people's shared experiences) gets transformed into a devil’s whirlpool through repackaging the pressure from radically honest feedback into being a Persecutor’s hammer, smashing poor helpless Victims.
The New Procedure For Vacuum Rapid Learning
Skilling up in a different approach for sharing wisdom in a team becomes extremely useful.
But what is the approach?
The answer comes through carefully observing that: our psychological defense strategy is not so defended against a vacuum!
If you feel attacked by a force of pressure you can always fight, flee, or freeze.
What do you do when you experience a force of vacuum?
Here is where it is important for you to learn an entirely different skillset for interacting: Learn to deliver fierce, radically-honest, vacuum questions.
Delivering fiercely-vulnerable, radically-honest, Vacuum Questions is an entirely different skillset than delivering fiercely-vulnerable, radically-honest Pressure Questions (e.g. Feedback).
We also strongly recommend repeatedly practicing Holding Space for Vacuum Rapid Learning using Vacuum Rapid Learning!
This is because we are finding that Rapid Learning Through Vacuum is a miracle worker.
A vacuum is an empty Space of nothingness. Your job is to become a vacuum pump, a force that removes all the pressure that could possible exist from the Space of the conversation.
Then, when the psychological defense strategy reflexively pushes against your vacuum using its usual defensive style against pressure, it instead explodes itself from internal pressure and falls open into vulnerability and presence with you.
Suddenly a different person is standing across from you and you can relate in an entirely different manner. Whereas, before, they were defending against an attack using all their standard offensive and defensive tactics learned and practiced over a lifetime, now their own presence surprises them. They experience anew their own capacity to inquire in themselves about your vacuum question.
What you must learn is this: Vacuum Rapid Learning is Not Fair.
What 'not fair' means is, anyone in the conversation could shift the Space to Vacuum Rapid Learning, but no one else does.
You see that Vacuum Rapid Learning is possible and would be useful right now, but no one else does.
Why do you have to be the one to make the 'sacrifice' (actually, so put your Gremlin on a short chain...)? Why? Because you can do it. You are the Possibilitator. Vacuum Rapid Learning is a standard everyday tool for you. It is not fair, but it is your job.
When you have the impulse to deliver feedback or coaching, realize that the impulse may be coming from your own arrogance, from your own fear or anger trying to change the other person to match your world. Your impulse prematurely originates in your delusional assumption that you already know what is going on for that person. You have already concluded that your feedback and coaching is for sure their perfect remedy. Probably you think you know something the other person does not know, and you can ‘help’ them to know what you know.
Your practice in Rapid Learning Through Vacuum when this impulse arises, is to immediately shift to a state of not knowing. Shift to sincerely wanting to understand how a person like them in circumstances like these could possibly think, feel, say, not say, do, or not do exactly what they are doing right now. You really do not get it. What is going on in there? You are lost. You are asking for a Reality Check. You beg them for their ‘X’ on the map as sensed from the inside.
Decide that you want to be connected with this person, that you want to be present with them where they actually are – not where you assume they are – so that you can fruitfully proceed with them into the next thing.
Then instead of saying something that could be experienced as any kind of pressure, you hold a pressureless vulnerability and defenselessly admit, "I wish I could know what is really going on for you right now."
What you just said is not a question. It is a sharing from you. It does not require an answer, and at the same time it invites one.
"Go! Reality Check! Design The Next Experiment! Go!"
The procedure for Rapid Learning Through Vacuum is:
By adding the vacuum approach to your Rapid Learning skills you can often avoid the heartbreaking skirmishes that so frequently sabotage attempts at using 'feedback and coaching' to optimize group intelligence.
In a short time Rapid Learning Through Vacuum can generate a miracle of reconnection. Learn it and practice it!
Be sure not to get off the elevator until LEVEL MINUS THREE!
The Elevator: "Going Down?" Navigating Three Levels Into The Underworld
By practicing Vacuum Rapid Learning we’ve discovered that there are typically three levels of response to your vacuum-making, authentically-curious statement.
To navigate the three levels it can help to imagine standing together with the other person in an elevator that slowly descends three levels down into both of your unconscious worlds. Your world is unconscious because you do not already know what you wish to know. If you already knew, your wish would not be authentic.
LEVEL MINUS ONE: The elevator button to start your journey is the statement, “I wish I could know what is really going on for you right now.” The indicator that you have reached LEVEL MINUS ONE is when the person answers back to you from their mind. Logical comments are given because the person assumes you desire a typical conversation with them and want reasons, explanations, justifications, excuses, etc. If you get off the elevator with the other person at LEVEL MINUS ONE then you will be stuck at the logic department. Here you will find the Victimy, scarcity-based, superficial, 'right' explanations about why they did what they did. We encourage you not to get off there. Instead, breathe, wait three seconds in silence, and then push the button for LEVEL MINUS TWO by saying, “Okay, but I really want to know what is going on for you right now.” And then remain attentively silent with open body posture and eye contact. Your are a vacuum.
LEVEL MINUS TWO: Keep holding a safe vacuum Space, that is, a Space that is neutral and not confrontive, not manipulative, does not already know anything. You are heading into deeper levels of awareness together. This is a fine journey to be making! Be sure that you are Centered and Grounded because LEVEL MINUS TWO can be a little rough. You might need to add a bit of spice to the vacuum by saying, “I just don’t get how it could be possible that a person like you would do / think / say / conclude something like this. I don’t understand what is going on. Could you please explain it to me?” Be in your own private pain about this, no blame, no recrimination. The indicator that the elevator arrives at LEVEL MINUS TWO is the Client starts shooting responses back at you as if you have attacked them. Keep your attention focused and your energetic Sword Of Clarity to hand so you notice the attacks coming. Make the slightest parry move with your wrist so the accusations slide by off the side of your sword like an arrow that has missed its target. Or if the attacks are bigger, use your Red Cloth or your Disk Of Nothing. Otherwise don’t move. Breathe. Stay in contact with the accuser. Do not be hooked. Remain still. Make no stories. Let three silent seconds pass. Breathe again. Then push the elevator button for LEVEL MINUS THREE by expressing your vulnerable wish to learn what is really happening in there. Say, “How is it going for you really? I want to know.”
LEVEL MINUS THREE: You know you have arrived at LEVEL MINUS THREE when the person starts feeling an emotion, some anger, sadness, fear… This is when together you discover the core of the matter. What they may first tell you is a story they have been telling themselves over and over again, perhaps for decades, that ignites their emotions. The story triggers their emotions but they have been keeping both the story and their emotions suppressed. What a knot! The effort to suppress their emotions, and thereby deny who they actually are to the world, is often the pain that causes them to do what you originally wanted to give them feedback about. Think about it... Would your Pressure Rapid Learning style of Feedback have taken you and them this level of realization… this release of the constricting grip on their soul… this refreshed connection between you? I don’t think so. Stay linked with them. Listen to what they feel and think. Use ‘Completion Loops’ until they reveal to you – and themselves – their own inner architecture. Suddenly the restricting grip on their Being loosens through becoming conscious. Voila! Together you will have created a fresh beginning. Stay there together at LEVEL MINUS THREE until the healing of the wound of the separation heals all by itself and the elevator automatically starts rising back up again toward LEVEL ZERO, Presence.
NOTE: It can be that a person with more skill at ‘inner navigating’ will go from LEVEL ZERO (or LEVEL MINUS ONE) directly to LEVEL MINUS THREE. No problemo! Just go with them there and liberate the transformational discoveries. Thank Gaia for small wonders…
Designing The Next Experiment
At LEVEL MINUS THREE, you both (or, you all...) can discover what was actually the mechanism - often a mere misunderstanding or misinterpretation - that set off the emotional reactions.
The fear of mistrust, the fear of being rejected or ridiculed, these fears could have festered for years creating painful disconnection. But through Vacuum Rapid Learning, staying together at LEVEL MINUS THREE, the wounds dissolve in a few minutes because the experience of reconnection replaces the wounds at LEVEL MINUS THREE.
Stay at LEVEL MINUS THREE together until the Space all by itself floats back up the elevator back to Level 0, which is Presence.
Come back to Presence, small here, small NOW, small 'you' in present-time 4 or 5 Body connection. Do not rush the transition back to LEVEL ZERO. It can take 5 to 10 minutes. In severe cases of being triggered, it can take a few hours of Holdings.
Back in Presence together, STEP 3 in the Vacuum Rapid Learning can happen: Making offers for the design of the next Experiment.
You say something like, “What if you tried this and this next time?” REMEMBER! You are still holding a vacuum! Your offers are best when they surprise and inspire even you. The other person selects one or two empowering new possibilities to try out as their next Experiment. The new results will be unknown to both of you.
Now the Client finally has the freedom of movement (free from the cramping restriction of the emotional reactions and the stories that caused it) to Shift!
The Client can Shift! into a new person. They are now the person who is committed to trying the new Experiments.
The path of Vacuum Rapid Learning returns the Client back to the top of the Vacuum Rapid Learning thoughtmap into a new first step: Go! Trying the next Experiment.
Of course, it may be only be a few moments before the Client - or you - are back in the Vacuum Rapid Learning process because something else comes up. This does not mean that Vacuum Rapid Learning does not work. In fact, it means it DOES work, because you are on the next turn around the Learning Spiral.
Rapid Learning opportunities can happen to any of us at any time. As evolutionary 5 Body experiences - complete with transformational Liquid States - Vacuum Rapid Learning is even more engaging than YouTube and online shopping!
A Rough Thoughtmap of Vacuum Rapid Learning
Experiments That Skill You Up For Vacuum Rapid Learning
No one can experiment for you.
No one can stop you from experimenting.
Welcome to the real world.
Practice Holding Out Your Sword Of Clarity
Matrix Code VACUUMLE.01
Your Sword Of Clarity is an energetic experiential distinction to detect the difference between things.
To use your Sword Of Clarity it can be more than helpful to shift from Verbal Reality into Experiential Reality, because you won't even notice that you have a Sword Of Clarity in Verbal Reality.
This Experiment is to Keep your Sword Of Clarity out in front of you, pointed at people's throats, all day. You don't have to say anything. Simply hold your Sword Of Clarity out while you are listening or interacting, even while you are walking down the street briefly encountering strangers.
Notice when you forget you have a Sword Of Clarity. These are times you are knocked asleep. Find out what knocks you to sleep and write these things down in your Beep! Book. Keep an eye out for them.
Notice if you tend to put your Sword Of Clarity away around your partner or your family... I wonder why that is? See if you can discover the purpose of putting your Sword Of Clarity away around your family.
Practice Using Your Sword Of Clarity to Distinguish Fair and Unfair Situations In Realtime
Matrix Code VACUUMLE.02
Please read through the Fair / Unfair website.
It is not fair that you would need to be constantly on guard to discern with your Sword Of Clarity whether an interaction is Fair or Unfair.
A 'Fair' interaction is adult to adult. It is respectful, loving, responsible, perhaps even High Drama and High Level Fun, perhaps even Archetypal or Transformational.
An 'Unfair' conversation is when one of the person makes an offer that is not adult. This could be an invitation to interact from their childhood wounds and strategies, or their Gremlin to create judgements, criticism, blame, victimhood, resentment, jealousy, on and on.
Guess which kind of offers you will receive more often? Probably Unfair.
Once you distinguish an Unfair offer, it is your job to shift the space into a healing or transformational process, and to Navigate that Space.
Why is it your job and not their job? Because you can do it. They cannot.
Matrix Code VACUUMLE.03
The moment you detect an Unfair offer for interaction, you have been informed that the person making the offer is either incapable or unwilling to Hold Space for an Adult-to-Adult interaction. This means that Holding Space for Adulthood is your job. Why is it your job? Because you noticed the decision point and you decided not to take the offer to leave Adulthood.
You may have needed to use your Disk Of Nothing, or Purpose Sniffer, or Red Cloth, or Jakobs Ladder to stay Unhookable, but you did it. You are not hooked or we would not be having this conversation...
You can do this. All it takes is clarity, and practice.
So get clarity and do the practice!
Practice Navigating Space - Especially Navigating Underworld Spaces
Matrix Code VACUUMLE.04
To navigate going down the 3 Minus Levels of the 'elevator' for the Reality Check during Vacuum Rapid Learning you will need to use your skills of Navigating Space. This is a complex skill requiring that you:
This experiment is to choose whichever of these skills seem the most frightening for you to learn and ask someone in your 3Cell or Possibility Team to accompany you making up ways to strengthen your skills.
It can also help to read through the Navigate Space website.
RAPID LEARNING THROUGH VACUUM
Matrix Code VACUUMLE.05
(Great for Possibility Team) Get a team of 3 together to practice Rapid Learning Through Vacuum in order to improve your Rapid Learning Through Vacuum skills. This can also be multiple groups of 3, as, for example, in your weekly Possibility Team.
Read out loud the explanations above for journeying through the three elevator levels of Rapid Learning Through Vacuum. There are three roles to play. One person is the Client. Across from the Client sits the Possibilitator. At the side of the Possibilitator sits the Coach.
Divide up your time to do this EXPERIMENT three times so that each participant gets to play all three roles. 20-30 minutes per role is a suitable amount of time to EXPERIMENT.
The Possibilitator is invited by the Coach to choose something they would like to give feedback and coaching to the Client about. Choosing something as real as and useful as possible is best. This does not, at first, need to seem like a big thing. Sometimes the smallest doorways open up to the biggest new spaces of possibility.
The Possibilitator now uses Rapid Learning Through Vacuum:
When the Coach wishes to give feedback and coaching to the Possibilitator, the Coach also uses Go! Reality Check! Design The Next Experiment! Go! of Rapid learning Through Vacuum to coach the Possibilitator.
In this case, the Client switches to the Coaching role and coaches the Coach. If the Possibilitator does not find something to give feedback and coaching to the Client about, this alone is enough for the Coach to use Rapid Learning Through Vacuum with the Possibilitator.
And, of course, if the Client ends up being the Coach for the Coach, the Client also uses Rapid Learning Through Vacuum with the Coach.
There is a lot to learn here.